confession
I just ran across this article and it reminded me to write this post about TV.
When Leif was under 1 year I was so passionate about him not even seeing a flickering, brain rotting, seizure inducing, IQ lowering television. Between the ages of 12 and 24 months I was still firm in my stance: TV has no place in an infant's or toddler's vocabulary. My instincts, research studies, the AAP, and even my neighbors agree on this.
Then when we all three had the flu last month, we let Leif watch a Welsh claymation show called "Fireman Sam". He sat on the couch snuggled between us, with some freshly washed grapes and lots of tissues and was in total heaven. He adores Mr. Sam almost as much as Uncle Nats.
I felt so so confused - why was I letting him watch this? Why did he love it so much? I'm sitting with him and talking about what he is seeing, so it's okay, right? He's going to see it someday anyways, so why not with us? What happened to my iron will? Where are my "natural family living" values?
As a kid, I adored MTV. Starting from when I was about 3 or 4. We had a satellite dish way out in Granite Falls (thanks Dad!) and it allowed me to personally identify with the likes of Ms. Lauper and Def Leppard. Other than a penchant for really tasteless pop music, I don't think it did any real damage. Unless you count seeing every year's MTV VMAs since 1984 as "damage".
But I'm still not sure. Leif *begs* for Fireman Sam when he is bored, and I'm so scared he is going to become attached to it. I can't stand whining for anything! I'm afraid that I won't be able to resist the urge to let him watch when I really need to "get something done" like make dinner or finish my phone call. We are officially in Pandora's territory and there is no turning back.
This sort of touches on a theme that has been running through our parenting discussions lately...By limiting your child's exposure to something (TV, candy, electronic toys, crappy music) are you helping or harming? If you deny these things, you create an unquenchable thirst. What about cultural context? Will Leif be able to relate to his peers later on if he isn't exposed to the same things as everyone else? If you allow access (even limited) you deal with all the natural repercussions. I suppose like most things, the answer is somewhere in the middle.
I'm sure you can tell that we're not settled on this new TV development, and I'll keep you posted about where we land. In the meantime I'm going to try and relax a bit on all these tough decisions (why are there so many!!) and just let things be.
4 comments:
I say its twofold...on one hand he loves it and right now its a special treat..fireman sam! on the other hand its also helpful to you when you are busy or stressed and need a total break...so i say its all ok whatever you decide as you are one of the best moms around!
I also have this dilemma in my home. My daughter, 19 months, loves Signing Time! (on DVD since we don't have a TV in the our home). She first saw it when she was sick, and now, like Leif, she asks for it when she is bored. She used to ask for it every morning, but lately has been asking for it less and less. Thankfully!
I believe, just as you said, that some things we need to fight, and with other things, we just need to relax. I realize that my views and opinions will probably change a lot over the course of parenthood, and I feel it is important for us to be flexible.
We had always decided to avoid TV exposure until some "later date." Since we don't have a working TV right now and we don't own any kids movies, I figured that "later" date was well, later. But my husband started showing Orlando (then around 3 yrs old) parts of movies and some extras and things like that.
I wasn't comfortable with the content (e.g., parts of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe and Cars), so my compromise was to get very benign (and short) kids' movies from the library.
So, for a few months, when Mica was first born and I was working from home, O would watch a few episodes during Mica's first nap. He did get sorta addicted, but it was a short-lived pattern that naturally died away. Well, okay, I helped it along by saying all the movies were all "due" back to the library, and then we just didn't check new ones out. :)
He watched Kipper, Little Bear, and Miffy. They were okay. Kipper was my favorite, since it was so simple and wasn't out to "TEACH" anything.
For me, the movies weren't to educate my kid (like the Baby Einstein videos in the article you linked to), they were to give me a bit of time to do some work! Things have now changed (I am working less) and I no longer need movies to fill that same function.
I think we all find our way through these things and come to a balance for our own families, and that movies will serve different purposes at different times for each of us.
Is the appreciation for AFHV genetic?
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