Boys who are girls who like boys who are girls.

For the most part, we keep this blog free from parenting discussion. More of a cuteness museum.

But, with the transition from babyhood to toddlerhood my mind is full of confusing conversations about how to parent. We have to start learning how to navigate "NO!" situations, tantrums, and gender wars. For the most part, being the designated "weird" parents on the block (homebirth? you're so brave!) makes it so that we don't even talk about our ideas - but, the internet should be safe, right?

Anyways, When I was pregnant with Luna I really wanted a boy. I thought a girl would be difficult. Then, when I had a girl I started longing for quiet play time, pants under dresses, beading kits - I really got into the idea of having a little girl around. So, when she died and I was waiting to be pregnant again I wished I could have my girl, but really wanted a boy, so as not to "replace" her. In the back of my mind I knew it didn't matter if you had a girl or boy - and that there are no promises about gender and the various shades of people.

I've always thought that if I had a boy, he would be a sensitive one. I would teach him to sew, pet gently, walk in high heels, etc. He would a feminist boy, sensitive to the plight of women around the world, and donate annually to NOW. He would be hand bag designer or chef.

Leif, however, isn't really on board with my plans. At least, not yet.

Now, he has his sensitive moments. Maybe one or two a week. Mostly though, he enjoys kicking, throwing, yelling "TRUCK!", "BULLDOZER!", eating worms, pinching bee's legs off, and smearing charcoal on the walls.

At first I was embarrassed - clearly I have created this situation by pointing out all the trucks, showing him where the worms are, and laughing when he makes messes. But I think this is only about 30% of the situation. HE IS BOY GET OUT OF THE WAY!

Perhaps it is inherently unfair for me to even call these gendered actions - who is to say he is being "boyish"? Maybe he is just being "Leifish"? I know other girls at his preschool who are even louder, or pushier, or hyperer (ha, love that word).

I guess my job as his parent is to show him all sides of himself and not impede his development. Nurture his discoveries and extricate him from the accidents. Give him room to explore his tender side, make sure he respects his friends who don't like yelling as much, and help him on his way to becoming an adult Leif Snowcloud. I'm still sort of hoping he'll be a chef though.