things I've learned (part 1)

Now that Leif is approaching 5 (5!!!) months I feel like I'm getting a grip on all the baby stuff. Sort of. Barely. Enough to try and document the major lessons I've learned "the hard way". Keep in mind this list is specific to Leif and his temperament, every baby needs something different.

the only baby junk you really need:
1) Yoga Ball. Bounce bounce bounce that baby to sleep.
2) Moby Wrap solves everything. And Dada loves it too.
3) Boppy or other good breastfeeding pillow.
4) Wipe warmer (cloth wipes are best - they don't fall apart).

on sleep
1) If he is cranky and fed, he is tired. No other possibilities. Even if he woke up 10 minutes ago.
2) No baby younger than 12 weeks should ever be awake for more than 2 hours.
3) Never wake a sleeping baby. Like, duh.
4) They sleep better on you than alone, and that is fine.
5) Sleep when the baby sleeps, as impossible as it sounds. It took me 2 months to finally be a believer.
6) He'll figure it out on his own. I don't need to obsess.
7) For the first 4 months, just survive doing whatever.
8) Memorize Twinkle Twinkle. Modify as needed.

on crying
1) Go outside and walk. Even at 2:24 AM.
2) Trying holding the baby in the freezer. Don't shut the door.
3) See Section 1, Item 1.
4) Hair dryer on the butt. Attach one to your changing station.

on breastfeeding
1) Most all breastfeeding problems are remedied by getting in bed with the baby for 24 hours. Every single one.
2) The first few days are so terrifying, it is hard to remember that they come out prepared to not eat for a couple of days. They will be fine while you figure it out.
3) You don't need a pump.
4) If he doesn't want to eat, nothing you do will change that. Besides nursing while lying down, jiggling him, and singing his favorite song. All at the same time.
5) Have a good lactation consultant on speed dial. You will call them at least 5 times in the first day.
6) NAK (nursing at keyboard)

on babywearing
1) Finding a sling you can nurse in is critical. Nursing + Sling = Sleeping Baby
2) People talk to your baby more if they are at eye level. Babies in strollers get ignored.
3) Wearing the baby at a party or noisy/bright place allows them to retreat and block everything out.

on the first couple of days
1) Baby needs to stay on Mama, skin to skin. Breastfeeding, sleeping, warmth, apnea, are all regulated.
2) Turn down the lights.
3) Turn up the heat.
3) Have a good lactation consultant on speed dial. You will call them at least 5 times in the first day.

on childbirth
1) Don't push the baby out all at once. Slow and steady.
2) The pain is momentary, I've already forgotten it.
3) Doula is required for translation and telepathy.
4) Cats in the birthing room are a humorous distraction.
5) You never even notice the video camera.
6) Everything you worried about for months is forgotten with the first good contraction.


Of course Leif has taught me many more important lessons on things like Joy and Perspective, but they aren't nearly as interesting. Ha.